Alex in the Afternoon

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• Left holding the baby, Star Wars sounds & #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Monday, 13 July 2020 15:51

  My wife emailed me photos of our wedding.. but I couldn't open them... I always have trouble with emotional attachments! #giggles

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• All your Christmasses, steer clear of the phone and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Friday, 10 July 2020 16:29

  The first rule of "Condescending Club" is very complex... I don't think you'd understand it even if I explained it to you. #giggles

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• All mouth and no trousers, greeting gift and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Thursday, 9 July 2020 16:11

  I ran out of toilet paper at the beginning of the crisis and had to resort to using newspaper.... Times were tough! #giggles

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• All in a days work, big parties and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Wednesday, 8 July 2020 14:55

  What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line! #giggles

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• Fingers & Thumbs, insane trains and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Tuesday, 7 July 2020 16:12

  The World Health Organisation has just announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19... so all dogs who were previously held in quarantine can now be released... to be clear - WHO let the dogs out! #giggles

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• Bishops and Actresses, a fizzy soup and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Friday, 3 July 2020 14:54

  Friend of mine was suing an airline for losing his luggage.... he lost his case! #giggles

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• Action stations, phoney birthday and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Thursday, 2 July 2020 15:34

  I got a tattoo from a temporary tattoo parlour. It's been over a month and the tattoo is still there... so I went back to complain but the parlour has gone! #giggles

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• Act of god, anyone spot a sailor??... and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Wednesday, 1 July 2020 15:17

  I was soo bored last night I sat at home and decided to memorize 6 pages of the dictionary.... I learnt next to nothing! #giggles

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• Hard act to follow, kids taking longer and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Tuesday, 30 June 2020 16:56

  I have a horse that has insomnia and she keeps everyone awake... she's a nightmare! #giggles

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• Achilles Heel, a night without TV and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Monday, 29 June 2020 15:26

  Which country's capital has the fastest growing population?.... Ireland... every day it's Dublin! #giggles

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• Calling them to account, MEOW and #giggles

  Posted by Kerry Gascoyne at Friday, 26 June 2020 11:13

  When I was a kid, my parents would always say, “Excuse my French!” after certain words...
  I’ll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French. #giggles

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• Accident waiting to happen, NASA bills and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Thursday, 25 June 2020 16:11

  My friend Jack claims he can talk to vegetables..... Jack and the beans talk! #giggles

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• Reading the Riot Act, Penguin poo and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Wednesday, 24 June 2020 14:22

  Last night I saw two policeman chasing someone who had stolen a board game of very little value... it was a real trivial pursuit! #giggles

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• Absence makes the heart grow fonder, bigger feet and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Tuesday, 23 June 2020 15:23

  Some people say I'm a plagiarist.... their words, not mine! #giggles

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• Taken Aback... swearing and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Monday, 22 June 2020 16:08

  A LARGE OIL COMPANY HAS ANNOUNCED THAT IT IS GOING TO START PRODUCING FUEL FROM INSECT URINE.... I THINK IT'S BP! #giggles

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• In one ear out the other, we will fight them on the beaches and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Friday, 19 June 2020 15:08

  Whilst social distancing was still with us, I needed a new lawn mower but didn’t have all day to hang around so I phoned B&Q to ask how big their queue was. They said it was the same size as the 'B‘ #giggles

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• Dull as Ditchwater, Pawly letters, #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Thursday, 18 June 2020 16:17

  2014: Didn't jog ...2015: Didn't jog.... 2016: Didn't jog..... 2017: Didn’t jog..... 2018: Didn’t jog.... 2019: Didn’t jog... 2020: Still haven’t jogged This is a running joke. #giggles

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• Every Dog has its day, left over vino and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Wednesday, 17 June 2020 16:17

  Have you notice how rare it is that you see DeLoreans on the road?... Apparently their owners only drive them from time to time! #giggles

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• Don't give up the day job, anti-pollution and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Tuesday, 16 June 2020 14:53

  I've bought myself a new blindfold, I can't see myself wearing it! #giggles

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• Cool as a Cucumber, ooooops and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Monday, 15 June 2020 13:07

  I went to the shop last night to buy 6 cans of Sprite. It's only when I got home I realised I'd picked 7 up. #giggles

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• Turning the Globe Upside Down, egg balancing and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Friday, 12 June 2020 16:17

  I've recently started a dating site for chickens. I've stopped it though as I was struggling to make hens meet. #giggles

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• As Ugly as Sin, Rice on the hip and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Thursday, 11 June 2020 14:06

  Purchased a deodorant stick today. Instructions say "remove cap & push up bottom" I can hardly walk but when I break wind the room smells lovely. #giggles

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• Right under nose, sport in the sky and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Wednesday, 10 June 2020 14:33

  The Government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns.
  It is hoped that the familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquility and normality following the recent pandemic.
  Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week. #giggles

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• Keeping it under your hat, teaching skills and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Tuesday, 9 June 2020 10:42

  My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis!" I replied, "That's 15 love!" #giggles
  

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• Under the weather, sweet smelling gent and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Monday, 8 June 2020 09:55

  My friend claims that he can print a gun using his 3D printer, but I’m not impressed. I’ve had a Canon printer for years. #giggles

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• Below par, veggie Simpson and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Friday, 5 June 2020 12:47

  I lost my memory after hitting my head on a boomerang, thankfully its all coming back to me now! #giggles

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• Mind your Ps & Qs, Santa's Postcode and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Thursday, 4 June 2020 15:43

  A friend of mine can't afford to pay his water rates bill anymore… so I sent him a card saying "get well soon" #giggles

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• Once in a blue moon, the elixir of life and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Wednesday, 3 June 2020 15:56

  The seven dwarfs have been told that from Monday they can meet up in groups of upto six... one of them isn't Happy! #giggles

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• Ants in your pants, tower top living and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Tuesday, 2 June 2020 16:40

  What do you say to a man who has stolen your gate? Nothing as he might take a fence! #giggles

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• Papering cracks, will dates and #giggles

  Posted by Alex Brindley at Monday, 1 June 2020 16:47

  During the lockdown I've built a model of Mount Everest. A friend asked "is it to scale?"
  I said.. “No, just to look at”... #giggles

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